an auspicious start

I think that I always was puzzled at the idea of blogging. Really, who wants to hear what kind of breakfast I had (a Nutri-grain bar) or the latest relationship drama (as there often seems to be)? I figure the nuts & bolts of my life cannot be that interesting. But hey, it's here now. If you're here, thanks! If you're not, well, you're not.

Back to why I am doing this. Same reason I can't seem to stop filling out random surveys on myspace and chat up everyone I know. I love to talk. I love to listen. I tend to analyze my life, and what better forum to do that in? I have goals to accomplish & journeys to embark on, and perhaps chronicling them will be a learning experience. I'm thinking it will be.

I have been asked no less than a dozen times what my New Year's resolutions are. First thought, I think of the same resolutions I had last year. And the ones from the prior year. So on & so forth. And that's not how I want it to be. I want my resolutions to not just be idle wishful thinking. I wish for them to become cornerstones in my life. So, my resolution is not to lose weight, to watch my language, to be nicer to my neighbors or to quit drinking soda. I could stand to do each of those. But, I think that those are part of a bigger picture. And if you know me, that's what I'm constantly chasing.

So, I've been thinking about it. And looking back at the heartache & obstacles I have faced, including some of the above, I may have come across it. Are you ready for it?

I'm not going to settle.

Nope. Not anymore. I've settled for someone who cared for me less than I deserved. I've settled for being casual about my career. About my schooling. About the jeans that I really, really want to fit in. I've settled for being stressed & anxious. I've settled for this life that I want to do so much more with, and it's not enough. I keep thinking that I have so much time ahead of me, so whatever I'm trying to do can wait just a little bit longer.

But we all know that at some point, there is not going to be a "little bit longer." And I don't want to be looking back on my life, wondering why I missed out...why I settled. I've read so many times that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So, here's mine.