The Knee Post

I have had a lot of hard decision making regarding this, and I have made my decision. Now, it's all logistics.

About 13 years ago, I got forced into a steel pole, cracked my kneecap, which did a lot of damage to the tissue underneath. My knee was scoped a few months later to clean up the aftermath, but it was never the same. That was the end of me playing tennis, and the beginning of me modifying so many things...from hiking to yoga. Periodically, and mainly because I would continue to push it beyond what I should, I would crack it too hard, end up on crutches, in pain yet again. Randomly, it buckles on me, much like the faulty brakes on a car. Take a step, and there would be nothing there. It's not a good feeling.

Then, after perfecting my very own move I shall name the "twisty-tie" while snowboarding for the first time in March, and then while out dancing, I have twice dislocated my knee severely enough to where this can't be ignored any longer (and can't even walk up the damn stairs without considerable pain).

Cue the ortho appointments. After seeing two surgeons, the consensus so far (even from the physical therapists!) is that surgery is in my future. It is not absolutely *necessary*, and with a good rehab program, I could strengthen my quads to the point where I could do my daily activities without too much trouble. But snowboarding? Hiking? Out of the question, as far as trusting that my knee won't give. Hell, right now I can't trust that my knee won't walk without buckling. But, I really don't want to miss out on all these activities that I so love to do. And what about 20 years from now? I can already tell when it's going to rain 2 days in advance....

The surgery that would probably do the trick, per the latest doc (and I've been referred to another sports ortho who actually does this surgery, since he doesn't) is an MPFL reconstruction, to reconstruct my patellar femoral ligament, to put my kneecap back on track, literally. It's a doozy. And wickedly painful from what I've read, with a crazy rehabilitation program. But if putting my knee back together this way is the only way to do so, then I can do it. They have other stuff they want to do while they're in there, including cleaning out the bone/cartilage fragment that's hanging out behind my kneecap (probably causing a good chunk of the pain). I've named him Charlie. I may miss him, just a little bit. I just need to find the time, the money, and the courage to do this. Especially the courage.